The Heart Wants What It Wants

Your heart wants what it wants, what it needs.
So, listen to it. Listen to it carefully.
Because in the end, we only regret the chances we didn't take.

~

2017 is the hardest year.
16 years ago I lost my mother, and this year I lost my other most important person in my life.
This year also, I must face the reality that I have to deal with something beyond my fear.
There were times when I thought I wouldn't want to continue to live,
as I lost my 2 beloved people when I need them the most.
But this blog⏤my illustration poetry⏤saved me, as it always does.
I illustrate for the same reason I breathe.
(And also, I would love to go to an important music concert in Europe next year.
I know that sounds silly, but to me, it's like a dream come true).

Art, music, they heal, they really do.
As I read once in an article:
"Art heals by changing a person’s physiology and attitude. The body’s physiology changes from one of stress to one of deep relaxation, from one of fear to one of creativity and inspiration. Art and music put a person in a different brain wave pattern, art and music affect a person’s autonomic nervous system, their hormonal balance and their brain neurotransmitters.
Art and music affect every cell in the body instantly to create a healing physiology that changes the immune system and blood flow to all the organs. Art and music also immediately change a person’s perceptions of their world. They change attitude, emotional state, and pain perception. They create hope and positivity and they help people cope with difficulties. They transform a person’s outlook and way of being in the world."

Art heals, as well as it gives me hope.
I wouldn't know what will happen next year, but for now, I want to keep doing what I love.
I still want to draw, to paint, to create, to illustrate poetry.
And I am feeling excited for the upcoming art projects I will be doing next year.
I can't wait to implement my ideas, my thoughts, my feelings.
I am deeply forever grateful for the people who appreciate my work,
and give me the opportunity to create,
despite the fact that I am not even talented at all.
(I draw and paint with some sort of love magic inside me, they just didn't know it).

I will try to stop telling myself that I’m lost.
I am not.
I'm on a road, driving with hope that I will find a place that I like and I will stay there.
I am not lost, I am on my way.

3 comments:

artisjokken said...

good Mita! Well written, I am happy to read it is going in the right direction. Especially the last sentence ...... Looking forward to see and to enjoy of your art!!!!!!

illustration poetry said...

@artisjokken Sir, thank you very much for everything, for the wise words we talked the other day. Just when i was feeling like a huge failure, worthless, unwanted, unloved, i still have sincere friend like you who support me no matter what.
You probably have no idea how mental support means to me, especially right now.
Thank you again.

Please send my respect to your family.

Ana M.F. said...

Dear Mita,
It's been ages we don't talk...I'm off blogspot,tumblr...all social media, to be honest.
I'm really sorry that 2017 was a sad year for you. Losing the people we love is the worst. I'm trying to deal with that since 2014 and honestly I have no idea how must people do it :(
You are still creating and that makes me happy. Don't say you are not talented, you really are because you have the most important thing and that is your passion for creation. Your latest works are magical ♥
A big hug and a way better 2018 for you and your love ones.

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وإذا سألوك عني .. قل لهم هي الفتاة الوحيدة التي أدمنتني .. وأنا كسرتها

If they ask you about me, tell them “She was the only girl who was addicted to me, and I broke her.”